Kept Awake
by StarCharm
Summary: Oneshot. The Realm of Darkness left some scars in Aqua that she's not willing to share, but if she wants the hurt to end one day she needs to open up to her friends. What's left is for someone to make her realize that. One-sided venqua.


Sitting completely upright on his bed Ven sighed as he looked out the window. Though hidden behind the clouds the moon was at the peak of the sky, signaling that it wouldn't be a few more hours before sunrise.

Another sleepless night. Despite being a part of a raging battle and having his conscience at ease knowing that Xehanort wouldn't return Ven barely managed to sleep. He should have been tired, eager for some rest after everything that had happened, but as much as he lied down and closed his eyes sleep never came for him.

Ten years was a long time to be sleeping, perhaps that was why his mind and body refused to go back to sleep.

Standing up from the bed wearing only a saggy short-sleeved shirt and a pair of shorts Ven put on his shoes and wandered out of his room. The hallways of the castle were dark and empty, but after wandering around many previous nights he was able to find his way without a light just fine.

As he passed Terra and Aqua's room he made sure to take soft steps to not wake either up, a little jealous that his friends were getting some well-deserved shut eye. Ven smiled sadly to himself; out of all three he was the one that deserved to rest the less. Terra and Aqua had spent the last decade suffering while he was just sleeping. They deserved to have peaceful nights for themselves.

Walking by his Master's old study Ven gently bowed his head in respect. Despite winning the war not all of the hearts that had been lost were saved, and the Land of Departure was left without its former guardian. The least they could do for Eraqus was take his place.

Stepping out into the courtyard Ven felt a warm summer breeze caress his face. He breathed in the fresh air of the mountains and looked up at the stars as he continued walking. If he couldn't conceal any sleep in such a pleasant night then he could at least stargaze. However, as he got closer to their favorite stargazing spot Ven noticed that some of the lights nearby were turned on.

Furrowing his eyebrows confused Ven hurried his steps in that direction, recalling that the lights wouldn't turn on unless someone was there. His thoughts of an unwelcome guest somehow managing to sneak into the vicinity of the castle without them noticing was cast away as Ven discerned the very familiar shape of Aqua sitting on the grass.

Surprised to find Aqua awake so late Ven quietly took a seat next to her. She was only wearing her white nightgown, meaning that she had actually gone to bed before eventually going outside.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd be sleeping."

"I could ask you the same thing." Aqua retorted mildly amused, not taking her eyes off the sky.

Ven shrugged nonchalantly.

"I'm not tired."

Aqua didn't seem to question him on that statement and remained quiet.

Ven had been ready for Aqua to insist he returned to bed and at least try to sleep, but when it never came he couldn't help feeling a little uneasy.

Ever since they had returned both him and Terra noticed that Aqua seemed to grow a little distant, very often deep in her thoughts and distracted. And though she didn't treat them any different from how she always had the bags under her eyes that slowly became more noticeable and the fake smiles she mustered far too often were concerning. They had asked many times if she was okay, but Aqua always reassured them with a sweet smile that she was perfectly fine.

Looking closer at Aqua's face Ven frowned preoccupied at seeing she looked completely exhausted. The bags under her eyes were still there, her face seemed almost a little pale, her eyelids were halfway closed, and her eyes looked empty and cold.

"Aqua, have you been sleeping well?" Ven spoke up concerned, leaning a little forward as he looked at her face.

"Not particularly." Aqua confessed in a tired sigh.

Because Ven had never encountered Aqua in his many sleepless nights he thought she had been resting just fine, but taking a closer look it was easy to tell that hadn't been the case.

Ven remained quiet waiting for Aqua to elaborate, but when the silence between them dragged on he realized she didn't want to talk about it.

This wasn't the first thing Aqua had preferred to not share with him and Terra. In fact, after their fight with Xehanort was over the three shared a heartfelt reunion, taking the time to talk about everything they had gone through, but out of the three Aqua was the one that had spoken the less.

Terra opened his heart of what it had been like to be imprisoned by Xehanort, everything he had felt, his desperation, his regrets, his frustration and anger of not knowing any better, of being so powerless against him. Ven had shared what it had been like to live through Sora's eyes, to feel so helpless when he knew everyone needed him, to carry the hurt of those others that found refuge in Sora's heart and to spend years just silently praying that his friends were okay.

But Aqua, she didn't say anything.

She had cried and hugged them both happily, rejoiced that they were both safe and sound.

" _It's been so long… I thought I'd stay there for the rest of my life. I thought I'd never see you again."_

They knew nothing of what happened in the Realm of Darkness. That place that kept Aqua imprisoned for so long, that tortured her beyond their imagination and drove her to the brink of despair.

If she didn't want to talk about what was not letting her sleep…

Ven glanced in Aqua's direction. She wasn't paying him any more attention, almost like he wasn't there at all. Her eyes were lost in the stars as she bore a blank expression on her face that Ven wasn't entirely sure how to interpret.

"Are you having nightmares of the Realm of Darkness?"

Aqua gasped quietly with a startled flinch. She turned to look at Ven with a mixture of dread and surprise, wondering how he came to that deduction so effortlessly, but also quietly begging him to not push the subject.

Ven softened his eyes in sympathy and looked down at his hands with a sad smile.

"I know what it's like. Having nightmares." He clarified. "I still get them from time to time, but I'm pretty sure that not as often as you do."

Aqua remained silent as she listened intently. So Ven had nightmares too? What could possibly have happened to him that still haunted him in his dreams?

Ven frowned as images of Aqua unconscious on the ground with a Keyblade aimed at her heart flashed through his mind.

"I always woke up overwhelmed, like it had been real. So whenever that happened I took walks around the castle, to remind myself where I really was. Seeing the rooms and the mountains brought me back to reality." Ven looked back at Aqua with a gentle smile. "Does stargazing help you Aqua?"

Aqua returned the smile and nodded.

"It's soothing." She glanced back at the sky in melancholy. "Back in the Realm of Darkness I couldn't see the sky, this sky that all the worlds share, so I never saw the sun or the stars. Seeing them with my own eyes after so long feels so… comforting."

Ven felt his heart sink inside his chest. A place where the warmth of the sun or the serene twinkling of the stars could never reach, where time wasn't real and no matter how many steps you took your body would never decay of hunger or restlessness. There was no way a single soul could bear the burden of carrying those horrors. He wanted her to share more with him, to give him some of that heavy load on her shoulders that would eventually bring her down.

Aqua didn't say anything else as Ven stood silent and quietly admired her in awe.

She was so strong. She was incredibly strong.

But even the strongest of wills could be broken with enough time.

"Aqua."

Ven whispered, causing her eyes to fall back on him.

"Why won't you tell us what happened in the Realm of Darkness?" Ven muttered softly.

Aqua looked away as she frowned.

"It won't do you any good to keep it to yourself." Ven immediately added in an attempt to reassure her. "Talking about it can help."

The moment the words left him Ven was overwhelmed with guilt.

Aqua's body stiffened and her eyes closed as she debated with herself what to say. He could tell she was hesitant, unwilling to share anything that could bring her back unpleasant memories. Seeing her so upset firsthand almost made him wish he could take that sentence back, but deep within him Ven knew that he was right.

Aqua took a deep breath, slowly opening her eyes again to face Ven. Just like she had done many times in the past few days Aqua mustered a patient smile.

"Sometimes there are things that people don't want to share." Aqua replied calmly. "I'm sure you know what that is like Ven. I already know without you telling me that there is something you're keeping a secret from me and Terra, but I still respect your wish to do so."

Ven frowned conflicted. She was right, there was one secret in particular he had been keeping from his best friends and he had vowed to never reveal. Ven took a moment to briefly look over Aqua once again. Her face showed nothing but emotional and mental exhaustion, but she still looked beautiful in his eyes. His heart skipped a beat.

Even if that secret was something he would never share it didn't apply to Aqua's situation. She had gone through a traumatic experience that could possibly scar her for life, and anyone, no matter how strong they were, that wanted to overcome such an experience couldn't do it alone.

"But this is different." Ven argued. "Keeping negative memories and emotions of that magnitude bottled inside you will do you much more damage than good. Maybe if you talked to us the nightmares wouldn't come as often."

Though his words reached her they weren't enough to persuade Aqua's volition.

Ven waited patiently in the hopes that Aqua would take her time to consider his point of view, but her face showed no signs of that happening.

Ven sighed worried and inched closer to Aqua.

"Terra and I are worried." Ven murmured sadly. "We can tell this is really bothering you, and we want to help."

Ven bowed his head in defeat, but was surprised when Aqua's hand moved forward to cup his cheek and raise his face.

"You are already helping me." Aqua whispered with a genuine smile.

Ven froze in place when Aqua's thumb gingerly caressed his cheek.

Ven's skin felt warm and soft under her touch. She could feel him breathing, and he was right there in front of her looking back in both surprise and confusion. That Ven was real, and he wouldn't disappear in a golden cloud of dust the moment her fingers touched him.

Back in the Realm of Darkness she had seen Ven and Terra many times, but no matter how fast she ran towards them they'd always vanish before she could even feel them. They weren't real. They were never real, it was just her heart playing cruel tricks to her mind. In that place her best friends were nothing but a distant memory.

In that moment feeling the warmth of Ven's body against her skin brought her immense relief.

A soft blush adorned Ven's cheeks.

"You… you don't have to be strong all the time." Ven murmured shyly. "It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes."

Aqua pulled her hand away to let it rest down on her lap.

"Back in that place I couldn't afford to have a single moment of weakness." Aqua said solemnly. "If I did the darkness would consume me, and I had no choice but to stay strong at all times."

She raised her right hand in front of her eyes and assessed her empty palm with melancholy.

"Even now that I'm back in the Realm of Light I still feel uncomfortable not having my Keyblade with me at all times."

As her eyes fell back on Ven a sad smile formed on her lips.

"I know it's going to be a long while before I can really be at ease again. So until that happens, I can only hope you're patient with me."

A sense of relief filled him. Recovering was never easy, and it took time, but now that Aqua was willing to accept help Ven would accompany her through every single step, no matter how long that was going to take.

Placing his hand atop hers and intertwining their fingers together Ven smiled reassuringly in her direction.

"I'll wait as much as you need."


End file.
